Star Wars Australian Edition
by Yorsh
Summary: Not so long ago in a caravan park far, far away, amongst tracksuit pants worn too high, and a series of bad mullets, a Jedi was born by the name of Shane Skywalker. I got the idea from 2 Australian Comedians, Hamish Blake and Andy Lee.
1. Chapter 1

Not so long ago in a caravan park far, far away, amongst tracksuit pants worn too high, and a series of bad mullets, a Jedi was born by the name of Shane Skywalker. It was a period of civil war with the rebel forces keen to gain vital caravan park positions, an empire led by the evil Kane Vader.

-:-

Kane Vader paced in his Caravan, planning, thinking, plotting. He turned to his crew, who were relaxing and drinking beer, and comparing mullets.

"We must get closer to the showers. And the dunnies. God, This eczema's shocking, I've got to give up the smokes." Kane Vader said, his breathing sounding awful as usual.

Kane Vader looked out the front window, towards the caravan of the only one who could stop his evil plan.

"Shane Skywalker, you will not stop me."

-:-

Shane Skywalker got out of his small caravan bed and yawned. He pulled on some tracksuit pants and went outside to collect the newspaper.

But he didn't only find a newspaper waiting for him, there was also a video tape.

"Hey I wonder what's on is. Hopefully fishing." He said, excitedly.

Shane put the tape in his video player and eagerly watched.

"This is a secret message from Princess Shazza" A voice said, coming from the television.

Then a girl appeared, her long black hair was twisted up around her ears, looking remarkably like earmuffs.

"Help me Uncle Toby-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope. _Help_ me Uncle Toby-Wan Kenobi you're my only _hope_." She said desperately. Then the video ended.

"Ah, shit. Who's this Uncle Toby bloke? Stuff that, Princess Shazza goes all right." Shane said to himself.

He was then startled by a knock on the door.

Shane opened the door and standing there was a man and next to him was a tall, hairy figure, looking strangely like an ape, but yet, more human like, despite the hair.

"I'm Dave Solo, and this is Chewbacca." The man said. "We have come to present you with your Light Saber, and lead you to Uncle Toby-Wan Kenobi."

Shane Skywalker was confused, but eager to get a Light Saber, whatever that was.

"Here." Dave Solo said, presenting him with a metal cylinder with a button on it.

Shane pressed the button and a long sword of blue light came from it, going straight through the wall of the caravan that the cylinder was facing.

"Shit." Shane said, pretending to sword fight with the Light Saber. "This is wicked! Cut threw anything!"

"It is not a toy, young Jedi. Come, you must meet Uncle Toby-Wan Kenobi and find Princess Shazza" Dave Solo said, to a strange roar from Chewbacca.

Shane Skywalker, Dave Solo and Chewbacca set off across the caravan park, not knowing what dangers lay ahead.

-:-

Will Shane Skywalker learn the ways of the Jedi and track down Uncle Toby-Wan Kenobi? And together, with Dave Solo, and Chewbacca, will Shane Skywalker take down Kane Vader's evil empire? Find out in the next chapter of Star Wars, Australian Edition.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Shane Skywalker, Dave Solo and Chewbacca strolled through the caravan park, heading towards Uncle Toby-Wan Kenobi's caravan.

Finding his van, they knocked on the door, which was immediately opened by Uncle Toby, who was holding a bowl of Uncle Toby cereal.

"What do you want? Oh, hey Dave. Chewbacca." He said, nodding his head at Shane's two companions. "You must be Shane Skywalker. Come, Princess Shazza needs our help."

So Shane Skywalker, Uncle Toby-Wan Kenobi, Dave Solo and Chewbacca set off further into the Caravan park, calling out for Princess Shazza.

"Princess Shazza! Where are you?" Shane called, eager to meet her.

"Shazza?" Uncle Toby-Wan called.

"Help me Uncle Toby-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope!" Came a familiar call from behind a caravan.

The foursome raced around the back of it and saw Princess Shazza holding a pie with a bite taken out of it, looking distressed.

"What's wrong, Princess Shazza?" Dave Solo asked.

"This pie's dry!" Princess Shazza said, looking hopelessly at her pie.

"Use the sauce, Shazza, use the sauce." Uncle Toby-Wan said, presenting her with a bottle of ketchup.

"Aw, cheers, Toby-Wan! Good call!" She said, squirting the sauce on the pie and sitting down to enjoy it.

"Well now that's sorted out, let's thwart Kane Vader!" Shane said, eager to destroy the man so intent on getting vital caravan park positions.

"Yeah, let's fuck 'em up, Shane." Said Dave Solo, to a roar from Chewbacca.

They raced back through the caravan park, heading toward's the caravan of the evil Kane Vader.

"Wait, stop. I hear something." Dave Solo said, holding up a hand.

They listened intently to the sound. It sounded as though someone was having trouble breathing.

"It's him." Shane said, turning around to face Kane Vader, who was standing behind them.

Chewbacca roared and ran at Kane Vader, but wasn't fast enough. Kane Vader pulled out a gun and shot a tranquilizer dart at Chewbacca's neck.

Chewbacca went down, moaning, clutching his neck, then passing out.

"Noooo! Dave Solo cried, charging at Kane Vader with his Light Saber.

"Uncle Toby, we have to do something! Uncle Toby, where are you going?!" Shane called to the retreating figure of Uncle Toby-Wan Kenobi.

"I've got to go film a commercial!" Uncle Toby said with an evil grin.

"What are you talking about?!" Shane yelled, thinking he'd misheard.

"I'm not who I seem, Shane." Uncle Toby said with a laugh, he then put his hands behind his head and brought them down his back, the sound of a zipper being zipped was heard over the cries of Kane Vader and Dave Solo.

A huge green lizard stepped out of the costume that Shane had thought was Uncle Toby-Wan Kenobi.

"What the hell? Giddy Goanna?" Shane said, confused beyond belief as he saw the annoying lizard who featured in the Giddy Goanna ads, teaching kids about swimming safely.

"Yes, I am Giddy Goanna! And I fooled you all! Suckers!" Giddy said, running off into the distance.

"Bastard!" Shane called out. "Scaly backstabber!"

Shane continued to insult Giddy Goanna, long after he had disappeared into the distance when a cry distracted him.

Dave Solo was lying on the ground, dead. His head was severed from his body, his Light Saber rolling out his limp hand.

"You mother-fucking son of a bitch!" Shane called, swinging his Light Saber furiously at Kane Vader."

"Luke – Ah crap, wrong line sorry." Kane Vader corrected himself. "Shane, I am your father."

"Yeah, you and every other bloke in the caravan park, pull the other one!" Shane said, attempting to behead Kane Vader with his Light Saber.

"No, really, I'm your Father! Ach – Ach!" Kane Vader choked, his breathing sounding worse and worse.

"Arrrgghhhh!" Shane cried, and bringing his Light Saber down on Kane Vader's head as he crouched, gasping on the ground.

-:-

1 Week Later

Shane and Chewbacca sat in their caravan, eating pies. They were in the best spot in the caravan park, they were near the pie shop, and the showers and toilets, and they were in love.

THE END

-:-

**Yeah, I know the ending's lame, but I couldn't think of anything else. So, review!**


End file.
